Hollywood: How to meet someone For the fifth time, the first time again, without killing them. by Amin Joseph

"HeyyYYyyyyyyy, how are youu?" They ask as they look completely through me with that squinty, gleam, and toothy veneer smile. Their face remains in a frozen grimace as their eyes never make contact and hover above, beyond, but never connect to my own. 

To be clear, they never posed the question for me to  answer. Rather it was a demand to keep this encounter forgettable and at a distance. So, no problem, I push on, it's cool, there's no point to engage when someone is full of shit. 

That's until instant karma for that thought returns as an associate or friend that demands that you meet this fabulous person across the room. Of course, it’s the same infamously rude witch or warlock. At this point, the gargoyle will respond by not acknowledging the earlier uncomfortable greeting, plus have amnesia of the four or five other instances that you've met them. Not that it matters, but I proceed to re-explain the what, when, who, and where. Then, reappears another half creepy fake smile followed by a puzzled look, and finally they blurt out, "Oooooh yessssss great to see you again."

I just ice grill grin and move on. Mofos be as fake as the Jordan's in Chinatown. That's when I look at my friend with the, "I told you they be acting like weirdos," "Don't introduce me to nobody, I'll feel out my own crowd."

The morale of the story is this. I don’t remember everyone I've ever met and my memory often slips. But I respect and give full attention to the person in my face. If I don’t remember you, I apologize and re-introduce. Who knows, I may forget you again. There's been many years and battles scars and memories fade. I just think there's never a reason to be flat out disrespectful. 

Main culprits: Celebrities, The Boyfriends of Girl "Friends", Corner Store Cashiers, Athletes, Competition Guys, Women in New Relationships, Asian restaurants, New Money, The Pretty Friend, Rich Dude, Saved Folks, Money Hoes, Snob Guy, Snob Girl, The Director, The Investor's friend. 

UPDATE: This person is no longer that bad. We had lunch they are actually a big fan of my work. We are working on a project together after years of ignoring each other and they are so talented.  GET IT...HOLLYWOOD FAKEOUT

 

Amin Joseph sizing up The Hollywood Fakeout

Amin Joseph sizing up The Hollywood Fakeout